March 17, 2014
After taking a long (3 years!) break from dating, I’m back
on-line again, hoping to find Mr. Right.
It’s just as hard as it was 3 years ago, not because there isn’t an
abundance of available, attractive men that fit much of my criteria. Well, they fit my criteria based on the few
pictures that they have uploaded and the few words that they’ve written about
themselves. It’s a little like buying a
box of cake mix and expecting/hoping the cake will be good without adding eggs,
sugar, and oil. You just HOPE it will be
good because the picture on the front of the box is looks delicious.
I have been out with
3 guys so far. Actually been out with
them, seen them in real life, and had real conversations with them. I’m not includng the many that want to email
and text for weeks, then they disappear – or begin sending wiener pics. All 3 guys were great – but each one had his
challenges.
Edgar – Super nice guy but he has small children and
he lives in South Ft. Worth. I liked him
fine, but not enough for the 30 minute drive to meet him halfway for the few
hours he had every other weekend. There
was no second date, even though we both sort of wanted one.
Brian – Really liked this one and probably could have
actually mixed the cake batter with him.
He’s smart, funny, moderately attractive. And, best of all for me, he took me to a
really nice restaurant on the first date and a super trendy wine bar on the
second date. He was very complimentary
of me and I enjoyed the attention.
However, after the second date, there didn’t seem to be as much physical
attraction as I had hoped for and wanted.
The kiss goodnight was mediocre at best.
I’m a little sad that it turned out this way with Brian, but I’d rather
know now than after I crack the eggs.
Ain’t nobody got time for that…..
Tim – Ah, Tim.
He’s the one that I could seriously fall for, bake the whole cake with…and
I figured this out after just one 3 hour brunch date at a place that I go to
when my house keeper is cleaning and wants me out of the way. No place special, not a trendy wine bar. And I had met him at a tire place first so
that he could get his tires fixed. Tim
held my hands, complimented me, got blushy when he said sweet things to me,
and, most importantly, was 100% honest with me on a couple of things. He knew that I had told him I was with my
kids when I was really on a date. My
thoughts were…it’s none of his business where I am or what I tell him. His thoughts were…just be honest with me, we’re
both adults and we both know we’re seeing other people until we find the RIGHT
one. I like that. He called me out on my BS and not many men
(people) are willing or able to do that.
Then, he let me know that he is seeing 3 other women, plus
me, trying to narrow it down to the right one.
He’s pretty sure he’s going to let 2 go, then just date me and the other
one. This is where it gets
complicated. I have been doing the exact
same thing, just not telling my dates about it.
That’s fair, and even expected, but we’re really just meeting each
other. I EXPECT that they are all seeing
other women. I just don’t want to HEAR
about it. This makes me feel like I’m on
the middle-class version of The Bachelor, hoping that I get a rose this
week. I don’t like this feeling one
bit. I find myself texting him and
calling him first, rather than letting him do a little bit of the chasing. I find that I can’t get him out of my
head. He also hid his profile on the
on-line dating site as soon as he left the date with me. WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?!!
In the grocery store of desperate hearts, would it be beyond
imagination for me to say to Tim: Hey, I
want you. I will drop all of the other
people that I have in my buggy, the ones I was slowly moving to the checkout
line if you do the same. Let’s
concentrate on each other and see what’s there.
We have nothing to lose and everything to gain. Can I say that? I really want to, because that’s the kind of
honesty I want and respect.
And, tonight I’m meeting Joey for a first date. I’m excited to meet him and hope that he has
potential. But the truth is that I would
cancel the date with him if Tim would say he wants me (and only me) too. Is it fair to meet with Joey with those
feelings? Well, yeah…because in the
grocery store of desperate hearts, they happen to be sold out of the cake mix
that I really wanted right now.
